If you're a parent, much of the recent U.S. Surgeon General's Health Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents probably didn’t come as a shock. What stood out to me however, as an often stressed, often time-starved working parent, was the recognition that this isn’t just an individual struggle—it’s a serious problem. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time we scale this into a public health crisis and demand government support to help alleviate it.
So What Exactly Does the Report Say?
That Parents Are Really Stressed Out
So if unlike me don't actually have it included it as part of your day job to read 35 page reports let's break down what the report actually outlines. Firstly that parents are VERY stressed. 41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults (20% and 26%, respectively).
That Parents Have Much Less Time They Used To
Feel like you have no time to do anything anymore? According to the report, mothers are working 28% more hours a week than they were in 1985. That may not be surprising, but what did shock me— though perhaps it shouldn't as someone born in the late '80s, during the final days of latchkey kids—is that mothers today also spend 40% more time on primary childcare than in 1985.
That adds up to an average of 9 extra hours a week between increased work and childcare duties. Now, imagine what you could do with that time back?
We Are Worried About Our Kids Health, And a Lot of Us Are Supporting Kids With Additional Needs
Health challenges in children have worried parents since the dawn of time. However, the rise in mental health issues among very young children, combined with the constant onslaught of information about illnesses and disorders to watch out for, has left many parents feeling overwhelmed. In fact, nearly 3 in 4 parents are extremely or somewhat worried that their child will struggle with anxiety or depression. We also have to factor in caregiving the U.S., nearly one in five children (ages 0-17 years) have a special health care need—a term that includes those who have, or are at increased risk for, a chronic physical, developmental, behavioral, or emotional condition and require health services beyond those generally needed by children.
We Are Scared About Their Safety
All parents want their children to be safe, and the Surgeon Generals report outlines fears of children being bullied, kidnapped or abducted, getting beaten up or attacked, or having problems with drugs or alcohol all very valid things to want to protect our little and not so little ones from. Its also a fact the firearms are now the biggest killer of children in the US and that reflects in parents fear with school shootings, or the possibility of one, a significant source of stress for nearly three-quarters of parents (74%).
We Long For A Village
Modern life has made many of us more lonely or feeling like we are lacking in community, parenthood seems to exasperate this. In a 2021 survey, approximately 65% of parents and guardians, and 77% of single parents in particular, experienced loneliness, compared to 55% of non-parents.
We are Very Worried About Social Media and Being Chronically Online
Nearly 70% of parents say parenting is now more difficult than it was 20 years ago, with children’s use of technology and social media as the top two cited reasons. In a world in which we can no longer always protect out children from bullies by shutting the front door, in which young adults are experiencing epidemic mental health issues, Teen girls and LGBTQ youth are struggling the most, with the highest rates of sadness recorded by the CDC in a decade. A majority of parents of adolescents say they are somewhat, very, or extremely worried that their child’s use of social media could lead to problems with anxiety or depression (53%), lower self-esteem (54%), being harassed or bullied by others (54%), feeling pressured to act a certain way (59%), and exposure to explicit content (71%).
All This (Unsurprisingly) Affects Parents Mental Heath
Maternal mental health is crucial, especially during the perinatal period. About 1 in 8 mothers experience postpartum depression, with women of color are disproportionately affected. Mental health conditions, including suicide and substance use disorders, are the leading causes of pregnancy-related deaths. Contributing factors include past mental health issues, racism, poor social support, and traumatic stress. The early years of a child’s life are also critical, as nurturing relationships can foster positive outcomes for both mother and child.
Paternal mental health is less studied but still significant. Perinatal depression affects 8-14% of fathers, with perinatal anxiety impacting 2-18%. A 23-year study found that fathers living with their children experienced increasing depressive symptoms during their child’s first five years.
So What Can Be Done To Help?
Parenting is inherently stressful, but by taking proactive steps, taking these issues seriously, not just brushing the pressure away as an internet meme. We can ease the burden on parents and reduce the likelihood of mental health issues.
Achieving this won’t be easy—it demands policy changes, stronger support programs, and a cultural shift that recognizes the critical role of parenting. We need to value time spent raising children just as much as time spent in paid work. Parents often feel undervalued for prioritizing their families, but this work is essential to society and should be reflected in policies, workplace environments, and public discourse.
Perhaps we need to all adjust our thinking mothers and fathers included to re-introduce the idea that raising children is not a task that should fall solely on parents’ shoulders. Society benefits from healthy, well-educated children, and so in turn supporting parents should be a collective responsibility. This includes open discussions about the challenges of parenting, from financial pressures to mental health struggles and also combat the isolation many parents face by creating opportunities for connection and community support.
Ultimately, caregivers need care, too. By embracing these shifts, we can build a culture that truly supports and empowers parents, reducing the stressors that impact their well-being and mental health.
To read the US Surgeon Generals full advisory click here. And if you or anyone you know is struggling with their mental health please urgently seek health from your provider or call SAMHSA’s National Helpline—Call 1-800-662-4357 A free, confidential, 24/7, treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. Available in English and Spanish. Or call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).
