Few people get to witness the beginning of a life as often, or as intimately, as a midwife does. Abby Vidikan has spent her career guiding women and their families through pregnancy, labor, birth, and the life-altering weeks that follow.
In this Q&A, the longtime Needed Changemaker answers the ten questions she hears most often, from figuring out whether you're a good candidate for home birth to what's actually inside a midwife's bag. Whether you're planning a home birth, weighing your options, or simply curious about what the experience is really like, consider this an invitation to sit across from a trusted midwife and ask the questions on your mind.
1. What made you become a midwife?
After my first baby was born, the experience completely changed me.
Birth felt so unbelievable and so powerful that I remember thinking, “I want to be around this every day.” Obviously, I couldn’t have a baby every day, so becoming a midwife felt like the next best thing :)
I had also been exposed to midwifery through my aunt, who is a midwife, so I already understood how beautiful and relationship-centered this kind of care could be.
But experiencing birth for myself lit something in me. It changed the direction of my entire life.
2. How do I know whether I’m a good candidate for home birth?
Home birth is generally intended for people with low-risk pregnancies and low-risk babies.
Part of that determination is based on your individual health, your pregnancy, your baby’s health and position, and the laws and scope of practice where your midwife works.
It’s not something you have to figure out alone.
A good midwife will assess your pregnancy over time, explain what falls within the range of normal, and have honest conversations with you if anything changes.
3. Do I have to give birth in water?
Absolutely not.
A lot of women feel drawn to laboring in water because it can feel soothing, grounding, and supportive. But giving birth in the water is completely optional.
In my practice, many women choose water birth, and many don’t.
You can labor in the water and get out to give birth. You can never get into the tub at all. You can change your mind in the moment. There is no gold star for birthing in water. You get to choose what feels right for you.
4. What happens if my baby is breech?
We usually have a good sense of a baby’s position before the final weeks of pregnancy.
If a baby is breech, we can start exploring ways to encourage them to turn. That may include movement and positioning exercises, chiropractic care, bodywork, or techniques from Spinning Babies.
The goal is to give the baby time and space to move into a head-down position before labor.
If the baby remains persistently breech later in pregnancy, we have a very honest conversation about the safest options and what is legally within my scope of practice.
The plan may need to change, but you should never feel abandoned in that process.
5. What happens if the cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck?
This is much more common than most people realize.
Babies do not breathe through their mouths or noses in the womb. They receive oxygen through the umbilical cord.
The cord is also protected by a thick, jelly-like substance that helps prevent it from being easily compressed.
Often, we do not even know the cord is around the baby’s neck until the head is born. When that happens, we assess it and, when needed, gently guide it over the baby’s head or manage it as the baby is born.
A cord around the neck can sound terrifying, but in most cases, it is a normal variation that birth professionals are very accustomed to seeing.
6. What if I poop during labor?
Then you poop.
It is one of the most normal things that can happen during labor, especially when you are pushing.
We quietly clean it up and keep moving.
Most of the time, you will barely notice. And as far as I’m concerned, what happens in the birth room stays in the birth room.
7. What’s actually inside a midwife’s birth bag?
A lot more than people expect.
I carry medical supplies such as IV fluids, medications to manage bleeding, antibiotics when indicated, and equipment to help support a baby’s breathing or clear mucus if needed.
I also bring tools that support comfort and movement, such as a peanut ball, heating pad, homeopathic remedies, herbs, and other practical birth-support items.
Home birth may feel intimate and low-intervention, but that does not mean your midwife arrives empty-handed.
We come prepared.
8. How often do home births transfer to the hospital, and why?
Transfer is not failure. It is part of responsible home-birth planning. No one’s holding a birthing mom hostage.
The most common reasons for transfer are not dramatic emergencies. They are often things like labor lasting longer than expected, exhaustion, a desire for pain medication, or labor needing additional support to progress.
First-time mothers tend to transfer more often because first labors are usually longer and less predictable.
In my practice, my annual transfer rate generally falls within a consistent range of 6-10%, and the majority of transfers are calm, thoughtful decisions made before a situation becomes urgent.
A good home-birth plan is not “we will never go to the hospital.”
It is “we know when the hospital becomes the safer or more supportive place to be.”
9. Can first-time moms safely have home births?
Yes. Many first-time mothers are excellent candidates for home birth.
The same basic criteria apply: a healthy parent, a low-risk pregnancy, a healthy baby, and ongoing assessment throughout pregnancy.
First labors are often longer, which means first-time mothers may need more support and may have a higher chance of transferring than someone who has already given birth vaginally.
But being a first-time mother does not automatically rule you out.
You deserve an individualized conversation about your health, your pregnancy, your support system, and what setting feels safest for you.
10. Do dads really catch the baby?
All the time.
It can be one of the most beautiful moments in the room.
She births. He catches. And we stand back and watch a family meet one another.
They did it together.
A Final Word from Abby
If there's a running theme throughout these answers, it's this: the way we care for women during pregnancy helps shape the mothers they become. Abby's approach is built around informed decision-making, honest conversation, and trust. “I’m not here to make decisions for you. I won’t be there to make every decision for your child later, either,” she says.
Instead, she and countless other dedicated midwives act as guides and partners. They’re the person you come to with questions, who can help you understand your options, think them through, and feel genuinely supported in whatever decisions you make.
That trust colors your labor experience and, beyond that, even motherhood. Abby believes that when mothers are given respectful, evidence-informed guidance, they are fully capable of knowing what's right for themselves and their babies. Her role is to protect the safety and well-being of you and your baby through pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum, while always honoring that this is your body, your baby, and your decision.
It's a philosophy that turns a birth plan into something bigger, a first act of the confident, capable mother you're already becoming.
